Stinking Thinking

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Don’t Marry Too Young – Part 1

Let me talk to you a little bit about what is really fundamentally problematic here. It’s for some bizarre reason, when people’s relationships fail, they all seem to go back to the beginning as an excuse for why they failed. You know, “why did my relationship fail?” Well, because we were too young, or we didn’t have enough money, or we were too stupid, or just whatever. “We didn’t know each other well enough.” But it’s all bogus. I do not think some people are going along, happily married, and then they go: “Wait a minute! We were too young, let’s end it.” It has nothing to do with the beginning. That’s what everybody does. They’ll always run back and explain the beginning.

Marriage is not like that, marriage is a race. I like to use the analogy for a race. There are two kinds of races. There are sprints, and there are marathons. In a sprint, the most important part of the sprint is the start. You’ve got to get the start right. That’s why these cats are down, they’re in those blocks, and they’re practicing coming out of those things over and over again. Why? Because if you don’t start just right in a sprint, it’s over. You’re doomed, you’ll never make it. All right? Then there’s the marathon. Now in the marathon, the start is not nearly so important. In fact, you look at these guys, they’re all standing around scratching their armpits and just waiting for something to happen, right? At the beginning of the marathon, you can fall down, have six guys run over your head, get up, and you can still win. Because it’s not about the start. It’s about the continued running, and running, and running, and being consistent. That’s what marriage is like. In fact, a marathon is a great analogy because runners will tell you that in a marathon, they run until they think they’re gonna die. Then they get a second wind and think they’re gonna die. Then they get a second wind and think they’re gonna go to heaven. Then they think they’re gonna die. Then they’re gonna go to heaven. That’s marriage for you, right there.

One of the common things that people use as an excuse about why marriage fail is this idea of marrying too young.

Comments About This Clip

13 Responses to “Don’t Marry Too Young – Part 1”

  1. Kandace says:

    I just watched the episode on the myth of marrying too young and all I have to say is FINALLY someone is talking godly sense. I have tried to convey this same message but you did it much better than I have been able to. Frankly, I am fed up with the church living by the same philosophies of the world!

  2. natalie says:

    Well, I watched your show for the first time tonight and I have to say I loved it! I am looking forward to watching more of it.
    I also agree with what you both said on the show. I got married at 18yrs. old. My husband was 19yrs. old and we have been married almost 11yrs now. We are still extremely in love. I am so blessed to have him in my life. I know that if you put Christ #1 in your relationship your marriage can stand the test of time!

    Thanks again, for the show. I think this kind of show is definitely needed. Be Blessed!!!

  3. Sally Thomas says:

    I think that getting married can work well. But only if family support is there, and they are ready to be adults.

  4. LEE DISNEY says:

    Dear Mark, My wife and I went to a group meeting where a local church put on your laugh your way to a better marriage. While most of your information was excellent and right on the money, one point was completely wrong. Spouses should NEVER withhold anything from each other in order to get their way. This includes sex, money, time, and especialy love. Marriage is about total committment and withholding only puts gas on the fire of a deeper problem. Learning how to communicate our needs, desires, and wants (with love) will solve marrige problems. I’ve studied a lot of advice from many, many counsolers over the last five years, and have never heard one even suggest this is the way to solve problems. Many in the group were also disappointed with this. I don’t know if the seminar was supposed to be mainly on sexual realtions, and I hope you have more to offer on how to communicate because you have some good knowledge and a fun way to get people to listen and think.
    God bless you and your efforts.
    Sincerly,
    Lee Disney

    • George says:

      Lee, you and the others may have misunderstood the point in that. If you are speaking about the DVD set of laugh your way to a better marriage, “The #1 key to incredible sex”, I know exactly the point that threw you and others off. The main point was NOT TO withhold sex or whatever to get your way, but rather to use that to your advantage, while not messing with it. In other words, if my wife wanted me to clean all 6 bathrooms and said that she would love to have a 1 hour alone time after, I will be much happier doing that than if there was no particular benefit. See what I mean? Mark was talking about the difference between “will you please clean the bathrooms?” and “if you clean the bathrooms for me, you’ll get a free pass for 1 hour to do ANYTHING you want.” Duh. Of course I’d like #2 better. It was not supposed to come across as “if you clean the bathrooms I’ll have sex with you tonight. If not, you’re not getting any of this”. That is control. The other is reward.

  5. victor machera says:

    i have a friend of mine who married at atender age but currently he stressed because his friends are now working with thier working as well.he even extends his anger to everyboby .so to be on the safe side of life “marry when you waant”

  6. Chelsea says:

    Hello,
    Sir i think you have a few screws loose and your ministry makes Christians look like idiots. Marriage is best at ages 18-20?!!! Im a 19 year old girl right now and there is no way you can tell me that I should be running around like a chicken with my head cut off, panicking because I dont want to get married anytime soon. I plan on finishing my bachelors degree and then going to graduate school. I want to get a job and establish my life and when God brings the right person, Ill marry him when I am finished with all of these things. Ill probably have 2 or 3 children before Im 40 and my parents will still have time and energy to enjoy their grandchildren. So whats wrong with any of that? Do you suggest i get married ASAP and start popping out the children before the honey moon’s over? Nothing is wrong or ungodly with wanting to fulfill my life as the individual God made me and enjoying my life as a young single women before I commit myself to a husband and family. Why should I limit my self to a wife with little to no higher education who does nothing but stay at home all day and live life from there? What kind of example of greatness is that for my children and other non-believers to look at? You make Christian women look pathetic and subservient. Our goal in life should not be to get married as soon as we can and raise our children to do the same. There is so much more to life that God has called us to experience as singles, or couples, young, old, etc.

  7. Sarah says:

    I say get married when you are ready to get married. If you have grown up in a dysfunctional family, then it is best to try to deal directly with whatever issues you have and heal before you even think of getting married because it is hard to do that when you have the responsibilities that come from being a wife and mother. If you are worried about being too old to have kids then there is always adoption.

  8. Aaron says:

    well I’m 19 and I know that I’m getting married pretty soon, but I know there were people for a while and still are saying it’s too soon I didn’t know what I was doing, that we are too young. Mark you really helped me out a lot. I thank God for you man and I just pray that he will bless your ministry ten fold.

  9. Ana says:

    I’m 18 years old and I never had a boyfriend; I’m really not interested in having a relationship right in this point in my life;I go to the university and study hard. The problem is that people from my church are bringing men to my life and trying to get me to date. I really don’t like this, I dare not say it to them because I don’t want to seem arrogant or something. My parents wont do anything about it. How can I handle this? What should I do?

    • Anne says:

      Keep your focus on studying!! If you get interested in having a mate you will spend less time looking at the books and spendong more time with the mate. I am all for getting a hight education FIRST!

  10. Krystine says:

    Hi mark,im 19yrs old and iv been dating for the past 1 and a half years,my boyfriend proposed last month,i said yes because i realy mean it and want to marry him.but the problem is my parents and relatives are just majoring on me completing my studies and having a career so its going to breat their heart completly,its going to disapoint them.iv shared that with my fiancèe now,he doesn’t have a problem and completely understands me.he is willing to pay my university fees as wel as providing for me,i’ll be studying on line.he has a job and is stable and can provide fuly for me.iv asked him to bd patient with me,he’s ok with it.any advice?

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