Comments on: God Wants Me to Be Happy http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/stinking-thinking/god-wants-me-to-be-happy/ Just another WordPress weblog Sat, 12 Jun 2010 22:59:07 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: soulscater http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/stinking-thinking/god-wants-me-to-be-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-1654 soulscater Mon, 07 Jun 2010 00:56:28 +0000 http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/?p=122#comment-1654 I find this conversation very disturbing... particularly the writer who said her daughter in law, who waited til she was ready to have kids, was selfish. What on earth is wrong with waiting until you are ready? It is plain when watching nearly every news cast that not everyone is meant to be a parent. I personally have no desire to be a mother and therefore I SHOULD NOT have kids. There are few things more painful to a child than being unwanted, I know this because my mother was unselfish and had me and made it plain to me, often, how much she regretted it. I think it's selfish to bring a child into the world simply so that you can find into the norm, without the desire to love and nuture a new life. What's worse being "selfish" and not having a family or hurting one of these precious ones who are basically on loan to us from God? Abuse is more hereditary than heart disease. Even if I wanted kids, I'd think long and hard about taking that risk because I remember they don't ask to be born. They certainly don't ask to be abused and neglected. It happens all too often because people who aren't ready or willing to be parents have kids. Parenthood is a choice that requires a lot to do it well. Not everyone is capable. I am not. Knowing that doesn't make me selfish or immature. I find this conversation very disturbing… particularly the writer who said her daughter in law, who waited til she was ready to have kids, was selfish. What on earth is wrong with waiting until you are ready? It is plain when watching nearly every news cast that not everyone is meant to be a parent. I personally have no desire to be a mother and therefore I SHOULD NOT have kids. There are few things more painful to a child than being unwanted, I know this because my mother was unselfish and had me and made it plain to me, often, how much she regretted it. I think it’s selfish to bring a child into the world simply so that you can find into the norm, without the desire to love and nuture a new life.

What’s worse being “selfish” and not having a family or hurting one of these precious ones who are basically on loan to us from God? Abuse is more hereditary than heart disease. Even if I wanted kids, I’d think long and hard about taking that risk because I remember they don’t ask to be born. They certainly don’t ask to be abused and neglected. It happens all too often because people who aren’t ready or willing to be parents have kids. Parenthood is a choice that requires a lot to do it well. Not everyone is capable. I am not. Knowing that doesn’t make me selfish or immature.

]]> By: Carolyn Page http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/stinking-thinking/god-wants-me-to-be-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-1227 Carolyn Page Thu, 04 Feb 2010 06:32:00 +0000 http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/?p=122#comment-1227 Mark I really love your show,especially the episode about self gratification (happiness). I was married 34 years, now a divorcee, to a man I thought of as the love of my life, in retrospect, I think I even had him on a pedestal. We married very young, I was 18 and he was 19 years of age. We dated for a year and a half, still young love,but on one of my visits from college we had the serious talk, (marriage), he thought we would loose touch with one another since I was in college he was entering the military. Of course I boo hood and I stopped my first year of college to marry him. Life seemed to be fine, we experienced what I conceive as the normal ups and downs of a marriage, but seemed quite happy. We conceived our first child on the wedding night, which started an immediate family and didn't allow time for us to really learn each other as a couple. After that we didn't conceive until 3 years later after I re-entered college, then we had three other children in the space of a year and two years apart. Life went on, at the age of 38 my husband started saying things like I'm not happy, he started having problems sleeping at night. I failed to mention that we were a christian family and my husband became a minister about 10 or 12 years into the marriage. But after that first annoucement of him not being happy, little suttle things started happening with him emotionally. If we had a disagreement, he would say I don't know if I love you anymore. I would take it as he was only upset and would try to change the things he complained about. As time went pass, he was very discontent with his job and wanted to quit,he eventually retired, then he was discontent with church he would find reasons not to attend although he did experience a serious church, hurt. We went to another church, where he eventually found something to complain about there as well. Then he bought rental properties, which he spent weekends working on them, and missed church. Then he started saying, our family was dysfunctional, mind you, we had wonderful children, all on the honor roll, active in church and school and for the most, obedient children. Later in the marriage, one of our children passed, a traumatic time in our lives. We never went to conseling or really discussed our child's death, it was quite painful. Then about four year later, my step dad past, whom he had a close connection, then my biological dad past the same year, and his mom past the beginning of the next year. This really brought on eight years of the dissenegration of our family. He started an affair to which I didn't find out until two years later, he developed prostate cancer a year into the affair. I was running back and forth to the hospital taking care of him, even when he came home, I changed him, made sure he was comfortable, didn't know anything about the affair, although little thoughts would pop up, but I would immediately crush them, because I thought never in a million years would he cheat on me. At this time I was back in school because my job had mandated us to get a degree or be demoted. Needless to say this gave him plenty of time and space to carry out this affair. But one day God told me to stop studying and go see about my husband, I argued with the Lord but went anyway,and thats when I found him with his mistress, who was also married, in one of our rental properties, which devasted my life, my heart dropped to my feet and splattered on the floor. He of course denied the facts staring me in my face. To make a longer story short. This carried on for a total of eight years that I know of; and to tell a funny story,funny now, but not at the time; one day after the many times of forgivening him time after time, and doing conseling, I came home from work, because I had found out yet another time he was still seeing this woman. I had came home at lunch time and was crying my heart out on the couch and he said, Oh so caringly, "What's wrong" I replied, "Why are you doing this to me" he replied, "I'm not doing anything to you, you're doing it to yourself, can you amagine how I felt. After a number of times of going back and forth, kicking him out, him coming back, only to start again. I finally divorced him, if I hadn't I thought I would loose my mind, and my family would be visiting me in the mental ward and I would have no clue who they were. I also prayed and studied the word a lot and felt as though God released me to let him go. I thought maybe time to himself, he would be like the prodical son and come to himself. After the divorce the other woman dumped him. It's been almost three year now, and we never really stopped talking to one another, he wouldn't let that happen, but I was distant. Now after I worked thru some hard forgiveness praying and fasting. God has released the hurt. He now is trying to develop a relationship again with me, but I'm truly not sure what I want. I've had opportunities to date others, but the dating scene is Not for me and I don't want to play games with anyone, not even my X. I keep waiting on him to return to God and develop a relationship with him before I even let myself think of getting back with him, although we see and talk to one another occassionally and went to a movie. I'm not sure how to pose a question as I'm not sure how I even feel about him, other than trully wanting his soul saved first, and then maybe look at a relation, but I trully don't want to rush anything or stand in the way of God doing his perfect will. This as really been a time of spiritual growth for me and I don't want to step out of God's will either. What do you think? Mark I really love your show,especially the episode about self gratification (happiness). I was married 34 years, now a divorcee, to a man I thought of as the love of my life, in retrospect, I think I even had him on a pedestal. We married very young, I was 18 and he was 19 years of age. We dated for a year and a half, still young love,but on one of my visits from college we had the serious talk, (marriage), he thought we would loose touch with one another since I was in college he was entering the military. Of course I boo hood and I stopped my first year of college to marry him. Life seemed to be fine, we experienced what I conceive as the normal ups and downs of a marriage, but seemed quite happy. We conceived our first child on the wedding night, which started an immediate family and didn’t allow time for us to really learn each other as a couple. After that we didn’t conceive until 3 years later after I re-entered college, then we had three other children in the space of a year and two years apart.
Life went on, at the age of 38 my husband started saying things like I’m not happy, he started having problems sleeping at night. I failed to mention that we were a christian family and my husband became a minister about 10 or 12 years into the marriage.
But after that first annoucement of him not being happy, little suttle things started happening with him emotionally. If we had a disagreement, he would say I don’t know if I love you anymore. I would take it as he was only upset and would try to change the things he complained about. As time went pass, he was very discontent with his job and wanted to quit,he eventually retired, then he was discontent with church he would find reasons not to attend although he did experience a serious church, hurt. We went to another church, where he eventually found something to complain about there as well. Then he bought rental properties, which he spent weekends working on them, and missed church. Then he started saying, our family was dysfunctional, mind you, we had wonderful children, all on the honor roll, active in church and school and for the most, obedient children.
Later in the marriage, one of our children passed, a traumatic time in our lives. We never went to conseling or really discussed our child’s death, it was quite painful.
Then about four year later, my step dad past, whom he had a close connection, then my biological dad past the same year, and his mom past the beginning of the next year.
This really brought on eight years of the dissenegration of our family.
He started an affair to which I didn’t find out until two years later, he developed prostate cancer a year into the affair. I was running back and forth to the hospital taking care of him, even when he came home, I changed him, made sure he was comfortable, didn’t know anything about the affair, although little thoughts would pop up, but I would immediately crush them, because I thought never in a million years would he cheat on me. At this time I was back in school because my job had mandated us to get a degree or be demoted. Needless to say this gave him plenty of time and space to carry out this affair. But one day God told me to stop studying and go see about my husband, I argued with the Lord but went anyway,and thats when
I found him with his mistress, who was also married, in one of our rental properties, which devasted my life, my heart dropped to my feet and splattered on the floor. He of course denied the facts staring me in my face. To make a longer story short. This carried on for a total of eight years that I know of; and to tell a funny story,funny now, but not at the time; one day after the many times of forgivening him time after time, and doing conseling, I came home from work, because I had found out yet another time he was still seeing this woman. I had came home at lunch time and was crying my heart out on the couch and he said, Oh so caringly, “What’s wrong” I replied, “Why are you doing this to me” he replied, “I’m not doing anything to you, you’re doing it to yourself, can you amagine how I felt.
After a number of times of going back and forth, kicking him out, him coming back, only to start again. I finally divorced him, if I hadn’t I thought I would loose my mind, and my family would be visiting me in the mental ward and I would have no clue who they were. I also prayed and studied the word a lot and felt as though God released me to let him go. I thought maybe time to himself, he would be like the prodical son and come to himself. After the divorce the other woman dumped him. It’s been almost three year now, and we never really stopped talking to one another, he wouldn’t let that happen, but I was distant.
Now after I worked thru some hard forgiveness praying and fasting. God has released the hurt. He now is trying to develop a relationship again with me, but I’m truly not sure what I want. I’ve had opportunities to date others, but the dating scene is Not for me and I don’t want to play games with anyone, not even my X. I keep waiting on him to return to God and develop a relationship with him before I even let myself think of getting back with him, although we see and talk to one another occassionally and went to a movie.
I’m not sure how to pose a question as I’m not sure how I even feel about him, other than trully wanting his soul saved first, and then maybe look at a relation, but I trully don’t want to rush anything or stand in the way of God doing his perfect will. This as really been a time of spiritual growth for me and I don’t want to step out of God’s will either. What do you think?

]]> By: austin http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/stinking-thinking/god-wants-me-to-be-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-1050 austin Thu, 07 Jan 2010 00:02:16 +0000 http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/?p=122#comment-1050 im happy about god. i love god that that makes me happy all the time. im happy about god. i love god that that makes me happy all the time.

]]> By: Cliffton Hubbard http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/stinking-thinking/god-wants-me-to-be-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-1019 Cliffton Hubbard Thu, 29 Oct 2009 03:09:10 +0000 http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/?p=122#comment-1019 As the Author of the Book, "Whoso Findeth A Wife--What it REALLY Means", I’d like to comment on the question that I heard asked on your show, “Where do you find all the good men”? Many women have the idea that it’s somehow “wrong” or “out of place” for them to be aggressive in finding or approaching a man. As Mark used the example of “going fishing, if you want fish”; I’d like to say, “go to where the good men are, to find good men”. More specifically, I’d say, “Go to where the good men are; so that they can find you”. That’s exactly what Ruth did! She aggressively went to the FIELD where she knew that the man (Boaz) would be. No doubt, she probably groomed herself so that she would STAND OUT from the others that were there. Once there, she positioned herself to let Boaz find her. Today’s woman can groom herself in the “Blessing” of being the helpmeet that God made her to be (Genesis 2:18, and 1:28, go into the field (church, workplace, business, etc.) and let her Boaz find her. Notice also that she STILL managed to let Boaz think that HE was the one in control of this whole scenario! As the Author of the Book, “Whoso Findeth A Wife–What it REALLY Means”, I’d like to comment on the question that I heard asked on your show, “Where do you find all the good men”? Many women have the idea that it’s somehow “wrong” or “out of place” for them to be aggressive in finding or approaching a man. As Mark used the example of “going fishing, if you want fish”; I’d like to say, “go to where the good men are, to find good men”. More specifically, I’d say, “Go to where the good men are; so that they can find you”. That’s exactly what Ruth did! She aggressively went to the FIELD where she knew that the man (Boaz) would be. No doubt, she probably groomed herself so that she would STAND OUT from the others that were there. Once there, she positioned herself to let Boaz find her. Today’s woman can groom herself in the “Blessing” of being the helpmeet that God made her to be (Genesis 2:18, and 1:28, go into the field (church, workplace, business, etc.) and let her Boaz find her. Notice also that she STILL managed to let Boaz think that HE was the one in control of this whole scenario!

]]> By: Debbriel http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/stinking-thinking/god-wants-me-to-be-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-749 Debbriel Fri, 25 Sep 2009 00:15:13 +0000 http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/?p=122#comment-749 We just got satelite this summer and so some of the channels are new to us. my husband like comedy and we seen the title of the show was laught your way? any way we watched. I have a friend who is separated from her husband. Her whole thinking is God wants me to be happy. I can tell you that is not true. It took my husband and I about 10 yrs until I stopped thinking that we were going to get divorced. We haven't but our fights were so bad I thought we were going to. BUt I wasn't happy but I did not get out because I was not happy. And My husband who has alot to put up with did not skip out either. In those first 10 yrs we were not happy but we stuck with it and now we are. We just got satelite this summer and so some of the channels are new to us. my husband like comedy and we seen the title of the show was laught your way? any way we watched. I have a friend who is separated from her husband. Her whole thinking is God wants me to be happy. I can tell you that is not true. It took my husband and I about 10 yrs until I stopped thinking that we were going to get divorced. We haven’t but our fights were so bad I thought we were going to. BUt I wasn’t happy but I did not get out because I was not happy. And My husband who has alot to put up with did not skip out either. In those first 10 yrs we were not happy but we stuck with it and now we are.

]]> By: su burke http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/stinking-thinking/god-wants-me-to-be-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-555 su burke Thu, 27 Aug 2009 21:03:41 +0000 http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/?p=122#comment-555 You totally got it re multitaskers v. single taskers BUT me and my man reverse your stereotype . Does this make me a man? Confused of Wales You totally got it re multitaskers v. single taskers BUT me and my man reverse your stereotype . Does this make me a man? Confused of Wales

]]> By: Celeste Ross http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/stinking-thinking/god-wants-me-to-be-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-542 Celeste Ross Mon, 24 Aug 2009 19:38:21 +0000 http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/?p=122#comment-542 Hey i have just started veiwing your awsom show and i gotta tell ya a half hour just isnt enough...by the way i love your show. sign celeste Hey i have just started veiwing your awsom show and i gotta tell ya a half hour just isnt enough…by the way i love your show.

sign celeste

]]> By: Theresa Owen http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/stinking-thinking/god-wants-me-to-be-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-347 Theresa Owen Fri, 07 Aug 2009 14:03:26 +0000 http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/?p=122#comment-347 As the mother of two sons, and a teacher, I am concerned with the "American Princess" taking over our culture. We are not raising our girls to be wives, but to be princesses and/or prostitutes. I can't think of a girl today who is taught to cook or clean or be a support system to her family. I do see young girls dressed as tramps, taught that they "deserve" everything they want. Being independent as a woman is very important and everyone should have the ability to take care of themselves as adults, but where are we learning to be part of a bigger unit? Home economics are no longer taught, but many girls begin weekly visits to the beauty parlor for nails and hair in middle school. There is plenty of talk in the media about how to "marry a millionaire," which shows women fight each other to seduce one man while he just takes what he can get. Faith, manners, culture, education, none of these qualities are even mentioned. Please consider a show about the "American Princess." As the mother of two sons, and a teacher, I am concerned with the “American Princess” taking over our culture. We are not raising our girls to be wives, but to be princesses and/or prostitutes. I can’t think of a girl today who is taught to cook or clean or be a support system to her family. I do see young girls dressed as tramps, taught that they “deserve” everything they want.

Being independent as a woman is very important and everyone should have the ability to take care of themselves as adults, but where are we learning to be part of a bigger unit? Home economics are no longer taught, but many girls begin weekly visits to the beauty parlor for nails and hair in middle school. There is plenty of talk in the media about how to “marry a millionaire,” which shows women fight each other to seduce one man while he just takes what he can get. Faith, manners, culture, education, none of these qualities are even mentioned.

Please consider a show about the “American Princess.”

]]> By: wayne baldridge http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/stinking-thinking/god-wants-me-to-be-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-339 wayne baldridge Sun, 02 Aug 2009 02:37:06 +0000 http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/?p=122#comment-339 I thought your conversation on happiness was meaningful and true. Happiness goes when sorrow comes but joy is not the oposite of sorrow. Joy is the oposite of unbelief. Faith and joy are twins. Look at Rom.15:13, 2Cor.1:24 & 1Pet.1:8. Joy and belief are found together in each verse. You and your lovely co-host do a great job! I thought your conversation on happiness was meaningful and true.
Happiness goes when sorrow comes but joy is not the oposite of sorrow. Joy is the oposite of unbelief.

Faith and joy are twins. Look at Rom.15:13, 2Cor.1:24 & 1Pet.1:8. Joy and belief are found together in each verse.
You and your lovely co-host do a great job!

]]> By: Amanda Prebbel http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/stinking-thinking/god-wants-me-to-be-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-298 Amanda Prebbel Wed, 22 Jul 2009 17:52:39 +0000 http://www.lovemarriageandstinkingthinking.com/?p=122#comment-298 An episode aired on July 21 on channel 38-2 from Fort Wayne, IN. I can't find the episode on your website. It was about why good men go bad. and why women need to be confident. i would love to share this episode w/ my fiance. Please let me know how I can find this episode again. Thanks, Amanda Prebble 260-409-6276 winks611@yahoo.om An episode aired on July 21 on channel 38-2 from Fort Wayne, IN. I can’t find the episode on your website. It was about why good men go bad. and why women need to be confident. i would love to share this episode w/ my fiance. Please let me know how I can find this episode again.

Thanks,
Amanda Prebble
260-409-6276
winks611@yahoo.om

]]>