Stinking Thinking

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If He Really Loved Me, He’d Know What I Want

I’m Mark Gungor and welcome to Love, Marriage, and Stinking Thinking. The program that takes on the common myths concerning life, love, and marriage. Now, this show examines the way men and women think. Hence, the two brains up here. This is very important, because we often get ourselves in big trouble because men and women think very differently. And we’re very quick to make into heart problems what are essentially head problems. In other words, a man acts and thinks in a certain way, a woman doesn’t understand it, and she assumes he has a bad heart. It’s not his heart, it’s his head. Okay? And the same problem the other way, all right? So anyway, let’s get to today’s stinking thinking.

“If he really loved me, he’d know what I want.” Yeah, I don’t think so.

To get a sense of how people think about this subject we sent out our 33-year-old intern, Ross, to talk to some people back in my hometown of Green Bay, Wisconsin. Let’s take a look at some of the responses.

Ross: Describe to me in your mind what the ideal man is.
Female: The ideal man is funny, smart, attentive to his woman, very caring and loving.
Female 2: A sense of humor, affectionate, honest, caring, and just overall a good person. Someone with good morals.
Female 3: He’s about 6’3″, brown hair.
Ross: So he looks like me?
Female 3: Uh, you’re a little short for me.
Ross: Oh, shoot. Ohhhhh!

Ross: How do you get a man to do things he doesn’t want to do? How do you get him to do it?
Female 3: You pout.
Female 4: Sometimes I have to yell at him.

Ross: What do you do to get your husband to do things for you around the house?
Female 5: He doesn’t do things for me around the house. [To daughter] Does he? Does Daddy do stuff?
Daughter: No.
Female 6: If you have to tell him what you want, then it’s not worth it. They should know that if they love you, and you’ve meen married 30 years.

Here’s the problem that we have in relationships today, and you saw it there. You go to a lot of women, and you ask them to describe their ideal man. Listen to the way they talk. They will describe another woman. Now one of the frustrations that women are having today in relationships, quite frankly, is because their men are not women. We don’t think like women. We don’t respond like women. We’re not sensitive like women. Guess what? We’re not women! Okay? So a reality check here, guys don’t think like girls. It’s just the way that it is, and women get very frustrated with that because girls notice things, they sense things, they pick up on things. Women notice when things need to be done and when things are in need. Guys generally do not. That doesn’t make us bad, it doesn’t make us evil, and it doesn’t make us wicked. It just makes us men, okay?

Now if you really get into this thinking that, “if he really loved me, he would cosmically know what I’m sensing,” you’re going to get very, very frustrated with a man, because men don’t think in those kinds of terms. Now, your mom does, your sisters do, and your girlfriends do. You can walk into the room, and everyone cosmically knows what you’re sensing and feeling, what you’re desiring in your soul. Then you come to this man, and he’s like totally zoned out, and he doesn’t get it. You think, “he should see it, he should know, he should just recognize what my need is.” He doesn’t. Then they [women] get very mad. Women often say they want men, but then they get mad at men when they start acting like men.

My basic premise is: men are not broken, sick, twisted perverts. They’re just men. All right? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with us, we’ve always been this way. Does anyone think men at any time in history were more different than this? I don’t think so, and that’s what we’re going to be talking about on today’s program.

Comments About This Clip

4 Responses to “If He Really Loved Me, He’d Know What I Want”

  1. alyssa says:

    I like this clip because what I see these women want is a man that is not a jerk. As a single woman I am looking to be with a man that can be counted on for things. We are taught that real men should be what these women want and the losers are the kind of men that cant give us these things. I dont honestly think that women know what a real man is supposed to look like. I have heard you talk about how this culture has feminized men and I think that has affected us women and what were taught to look for.

  2. myrna chaffin says:

    I can seldom stay up until 12:30 a.m. to watch your show. I did for the first one and was thrilled with the idea that I could watch “what I missed” on the internet. I have
    just watched this one “clip” and will search further, but I think I got the idea I won’t be seeing the entire show. I’d have to buy it. Not in my budget. If I am wrong, please let me know how to watch your shows without staying up that late. God bless. Saw you on TBN and thought you were talking directly to me…I sat there shaking my head “yes” over and over.

  3. alyssa says:

    Mark your a genius keep it up

  4. Debbie says:

    I know that women and men think and re-act differently. It’s just that when you are in the situation you really want your partner to notice you to acknowledge the changes etc.

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