Stinking Thinking

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He Shouldn’t Be So Interested in Sex

Today’s topic is “He Shouldn’t Be So Interested in Sex.”  Talk about different thinking today, boys and girls!  Now this is a big difference for men and women, when it comes to this area.  One of my big beefs about the whole marriage ministry today, and marriage seminars and everything, is that it basically takes the tack that women are wonderful, great, and normal… and that men are pigs and there is something wrong with us.

I contend that men are the way they are ’cause God made them that way on purpose.  We are not sick, twisted, broken perverts.  We’re just men.  All right?!  In no other area is this great divide in existence than when it comes to this whole area about sex.

Now for men, we’re talking stereotypical situation here, it’s the man who’s more interested in sex, ’cause usually that’s the way it is.  It’s not always that way though.  There are lots of relationships where it’s reversed, where it’s the woman who’s more interested in sex than her husband.  For example, if you’re here today, and you happen to be in a relationship where your wife is more interested in sex than you are, I think I speak for all the men here when I say that we hate you.  But generally, it’s not that way.  Usually it’s the guy, and we want to talk about it.

Now sex is a big deal, particularly for men.  Our sexual peak happens about age 18, and then it goes down from there.  So if you were to graph it out, it would look something like this (see video).  We’re going along, all of a sudden we hit age 18, and we peak there, and then it goes down… and then, we’re dead.  All right?

Now all of this is driven by a chemical called testosterone.  It’s not because we’re sick perverts, it’s the way God wired men.  He did this for a reason, and I want to show you on today’s show what that reason is.  In order to explain it, we have to do an anatomy lesson.  It’s going to be all right, we’ll keep this clean, it’s a family show.  Now we will call this the girl’s heart, okay?  In the interest of keeping everything at least PG, we will refer to this as the place of happniess.  I had a lady who came to one of my seminars once.  She told me later, “Man, I can’t even go to Wal-Mart anymore, smiling faces everywhere.  You just ruined it for me, you just ruined it.”  Ladies, at some fundamental level, you have to understand something.  This is every man’s basica interest in a woman, all right?  Now a lot of women say, “well, that’s terrible, that’s horrible!  Shouldn’t be that way, shouldn’t be about that.  Should be about love, and fellowship, and sharing.”  Sweetheart, if your husband was interested in fellowship and sharing, he’d have gotten a golden retriever.  Okay?  He’s interested in this, and he’s supposed to be.

Now what a lot of guys don’t understand is that the key to the happy place, is the heart.  If a man successfully touches her heart, then she gives him the green light and now he can go to the happy place.  Are you following me?  Some guys out there, Jimmie, I don’t think they get it.  “I don’t understand, what kind of drawing is this anyway?”  All right now, we need to understand something.

With the sex drive that men have, and most men, you know, all we need for a sex drive is oxygen, [breath] “where is she?!”  Now when that hits you, it’s not for you to just go attacking your wife.  It is merely God’s way of constantly reminding a man, “be nice to the girl.  Be nice to the girl.  You better be nice to the girl, or you ain’t getting jack.”  Now for women, it’s very different.  A woman’s main interest in a man is the heart, but what so many millions of women seem to be completely clueless about is that the key to his heart is the happy place.  You touch that, and he gives you the green light, now you can touch his heart.

Pepole say, “what was God thinking?”  This is exactly what he was thinking.  I mean, it drives people crazy!  The bottom line is this: the key to getting what you want is to give your spouse what they want.  We’re selfish, and we don’t want to give our spouse what they want, we just want what we want and it gets us in all kinds of trouble.  Women say, “don’t be such a pervert.  Open your heart to me.”  He says, “I told you I loved you once, if anything changes… I’ll let you know!  So let’s just do this, come on.”  So here we have the modern Christian couple that are constantly at war and fighting with each other, and this becomes a major problem.  Another major problem is that a lot of people think that this whole area of intimacy and sex is a side issue in marriage.  It’s not a side issue, it’s a major, central issue.

Comments About This Clip

8 Responses to “He Shouldn’t Be So Interested in Sex”

  1. Joe says:

    all what is mentioned is true.women tend to feel more sexual desire at later stage compared to men.

  2. Ronald says:

    I agree with that response Joe and some men not all men have the right morals on how to respect a woman physically and mentally and emotionally when it comes to sex.

  3. Johnny says:

    Also each mate’s body belongs to the other -but it is to align with each one submitting to one another IN KEEPING with the Lord!….Thus ya then have the needed sensitivity and respect regardless which of the 2 it favors the most at any given time. In this when one chooses to be More Giving of oneself, it cancels feeling obligated and for the other it cancels feeling inconsiderate too!….And there’s also, one may simply be too spent to be More Giving, and thus never to be forced or manipulated to: the other needs to employ “which of the 2 has the Greater Need to be regarded then.

    God’s Guidance will overall result with Mutual “Greater” (and in Amount) of Sex Interest!!

  4. David J Lukamto says:

    It is very true whatever written by our Marriage guru, Mr. Mark Gungor. I measure my wife’s love and care to me through her receptiveness in having sex with me. We used to make love very often in early stage of our marriage (with lots of caressing and touching), it was everyday and some days even more than once a day; but now we don’t make love anymore, we don’t even have sex (about once a month only), and when we had sex, she wanted no kissing, she would close her eyes and wanted it quickly end and over, then she can quickly wash her vagina in the toilet. I could not tolerate this any longer, it hurts me as a person ! and this has been the main reason I wanted out from the marriage ! (although I gave other excuses than sex, but in my heart and mind, there is no doubt that sex is the main and prime reason for the divorce)

  5. Debbriel says:

    For us it is the opposite. I want sex all the time and he is not wanting it as much. But then I am in the early 30′s and he is early 40′s so maybe that makes a difference.

  6. amanda myles says:

    i agree bc im 29 and my husband is 35 and he wants to have sex all the time and theres jjust times i do not want to sometimes its irritating but i know thats just him and god loves me for trying and him for trying

  7. Bianca says:

    yes all those things are right, but I am in the opposite side. My husband almost never wants to have sex, but then he is unfaithful to me. He wants to have sex maybe once every two weeks,I would want at least 4-5 times a week. he is the one always complaining with a headache or backache. I tell him all the time that should be my line. But anyhow we are getting divorce not so much because of sex, but because of infidelity. I cannot take it anymore..

  8. danvas says:

    it is true that most/many women have a high sexual desire at an early and late stage of life/.

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