Stinking Thinking

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S2E3: Feminization of Men in American Culture

On this week’s show, Mark discusses the issues that some people have with attending church and why so many churches remain very small—100 people or less. He and Debbie go on to explore the feminization of the culture and the negative impact this has had on men, marriage and churches.

For the past several decades we have been instructed to let our feelings have a bigger role in dictating our actions and decisions. Men have been encouraged to get in touch with their “feminine side” and to “follow their feelings”. This may be great for women, who primarily feel altruistic and beneficial things, but it doesn’t serve men well to act on their feelings. Find out why all the emphasis on feminizing men isn’t a very good thing after all.

Comments About This Clip

26 Responses to “S2E3: Feminization of Men in American Culture”

  1. mark says:

    Finally, I had a lot of problems in work because management is trying to feminize men, and god forbid if you criticized the women way of doing work, I always felt I am being control by the feminine culture in work, so I quit. Great job mark Gungor.

  2. Verona McKenzie says:

    It is absolutely obvious that Mark Gungor is on to something revolutionary and huge. I just love his down to earth, in your face, suck it up and move on approach. However, I know it is his show, but it’s a little distressing that he never lets his co-host (current and previous) finish a single sentence (except for the pre-commercial announcement). Let her speak, please! It’s impolite to interrupt another person so much – she may have valid and useful points to make.
    This is my humble opinion – maybe noone else is bothered by it.

    • Anne says:

      I agree with Verona. While I enjoy his ministry and have been blessed by it, it would be nice to hear the co-host speak. It is somewhat distracting and comes off as being a bit rude toward the co-host (I am sure that is not his intention at all). Men are watching Mark as an example, so what better way to be an example than by letting the lady complete her thoughts before jumping in. I think it will bring more balance to the show and more insight as well. Like Verona stated, it’s impolite to interrupt another person…A man may “feel” like making his point (while the other person is still speaking), but to allow someone to complete their sentence is “the right thing to do.” Again, I say this in love and I hope that it is received in that light.

  3. Amen!

    You spoke exactly what we are seeing.

    It is quite a phenomenon in our church to see lots of men coming, even if their wives can’t make it to church. Why? We think it is because they get to be men – and the women love it!!

    Thank you for your ministry

  4. Jutta says:

    I love the way Mr. Gungor humors everything. He has a clear insight in why we are lacking true leadership today, because a leader is a visionary, driven by values and ideals. Let’s raise our men to be leaders!

  5. Gary Haist says:

    I am so hungry to hear this stuff. I am amazed at having things explained to me of why I got lousy grades in grade school but got A’s in college. I like Debbie’s commnets but I think don’t change a thing! Keep it coming and may God bless your ministry.

  6. Lori says:

    I agree with Verona. Maybe next time we can hear more from the co-host. But in the meantime, Mark, keep up the good work.

  7. Debi Williams says:

    The lady that said her husband won’t take the spiritual leadership in the home. The husband will never lead if the wife is already leading. However, thanks for what you said. It makes so much sense.

    God Bless

  8. Katy Brown says:

    Regarding the show about the feminization of men in America, I totally agree with Mark. When he’s talking about men looking to their feelings instead of holding onto their morals, beliefs and responsibilities, I said .. AMEN! However, on that note, I also think that some women should also grasp this just a little bit more than what we do. I know we are emotional creatures but so often we go on OUR feelings. I think women need a little teaching on balancing our feelings with faith, because the Bible says that, “The just shall live by faith … ” not feelings. We also need to realize that if something is wrong, and doesn’t line up to our morals, beliefs or responsibilities we can’t use the cop out that we had “feelings” … I’m a woman and I’m preaching to myself as well but I think that to be a true woman of God that I also must learn to reign in some of my feelings as well and hope that in doing so I will teach my son that we don’t live by feelings but by faith.

  9. kari says:

    One of my all time favorit movies is the Princess Bride!!! Mark does some awesome impersenations!!!

  10. I’m sorry that you did not go more indebt into the feminized characteristic of men. What source did you get your info from? I’ve lived with a feminized man for 33 years. It’s been a hard life. He does not want to do anything; not even work. Why? Because he’s governed by his feeling. Yet, at the same time he expects for me to do what he has classified as “woman’s work.” Everytime I attempts to leave him I either loose my job or I can’t find a job. It is so depressing. What advice can you offer me?

  11. Your characterization of a feminized men has hit home. Where can I get the indebt version? How can one escape such a person, especially when you’ve been with them for so long. When one live with such a person who fight their duty and responsible to themselves and others, one tend to lose themselves and their focus on life. It’s is a hard and depressing life.

    • Brenda-
      Mark is not advocating that you leave the marriage as a solution. Men can help other men with this issue. Please check out our Manly Man DVD and look for the release of the Manly Man II DVD set–it is forthcoming. Here is a link to an article that Mark drew from in relying this information: http://www.crosswalk.com/marriage/11602193/

    • kzolady says:

      Do you mean that you would like a in depth version?

      On another track, I don’t think you man is feminized. He is just very lazy. Some men have been like that forever, so some men must of accidentally been getting feminized as long as there have men.

      Also I know that this is none of my business, but have you ever discussed the way you feel about your husband with him?

  12. Renee says:

    Very interesting observations from Mark. I believe they have some validity and worthy of consideration. In terms of interrupting his co-host, he’s obviously a very excitable person with lots of energy and although he could be more sensitive to her input, it’s okay. His dramatic delievery will likely impact audiences more powerfully; let us lighten up. We have to believe that God is in control and whatever message needs to be delivered will be received. Finally, keep up the great work; we need programs in various formats sharing the gospel. -R

  13. Lien says:

    I wish Mark had actually gone into the Church Feminization piece, as well. In LYW he talked about “a closer, personal relationship with Jesus Christ” and how that is a very feminized value statement for a church to adopt. Great Stuff.

  14. Miranda says:

    I saw this and listened to every word, couldn’t get enough.
    I have a son and his Father is out of the picture so I worry about him having feminine traits because he has no male role model, but Mark put it in perspective for me.

    I WANT TO SEE MORE ON THIS TOPIC!!!

  15. Cordon Snyder says:

    I was involed with a church that taught and encouraged men not to be men! I had enough and I am now divorced with sole custody of our son. Many of todays churches encourage and develop divorces with not allowing men to be men. They encourage people to be tolerant of bad behavior instead of saying hey stop that it is bad behavior for fear of offending someone. I would love to have my wife back but that is something that is on the impossible side due to her involemnet in these types of churches. The jest of it is simple WE CAN DO WHAT EVER WE WANT NO MATTER HOW WRONG IT IS SIMPLY BECAUSE WE ARE FORGIVEN. That is not what I believe nor do I believe that was gods intentions.

  16. Jim says:

    It is good to know that I am not crazy sometimes. The previous statement is part of my bent toward poll taking. I have been feminized. I have been on a long road back from where I was. When my marriage was breaking up, I felt betrayed, because she had married me for my balance of sensitivity and courage. Eventually, I was hated for my courage. Thinking that I was a total klutz with my feelings, I went to the secular men’s program (New Warriors), and one of the interesting things one of the atheist men found was a web reference to Keith Drury’s Money, Sex, and Spiritual power. Chapter 9 is on Male Spirituality http://www.blessedquietness.com/journal/housechu/kdrury.htm#9 . The guy remarked that Keith Drury really understood male spirituality, even though he was a Christian. Mark did a good job of talking about the imbalance. It is harder to talk about the balance, of feeling fully (not stuffing), and then following faithfully, even if that means alone. God also has called me (and I believe other me), to listen to our wives even if their attitude isn’t perfect (ex: Moses in Num 16:4, not his wife, but Korah, with a pretty bad attitude.) It isn’t to be abused, and a man needs to stand up to his wife if she is abusing that right. But he is to live with her in an understanding way, even if he doesn’t act on his or her feelings. She has a right to be listened to.

  17. Jim says:

    One more thing that I forgot to add. Whenever I get angry at a woman asking me to act more like a woman, I have to remember that it may be an indirect way of asking me to be more safe, and more familiar. I have not always been a safe man to be around. I believe that the Lord has done a lot of good work in me, and the places are mostly gone where I was not safe because I was selfish, or superstitious, or because I had stuffed emotions. But I am still not a safe man, like any real man. I take risks, violate social norms (especially the PC ones), and I stand up and I am counted. I have found it hard to find a woman that accepts that, completely. I do need to be patient because I believe that the feminization was born in an era when men did not reprove other men for not honoring their wives.

  18. Leanna Ogilvie says:

    Saw this show on Jan. 6 EST 8am on TBN. I kept being reminded of a song in the musical “My Fair Lady”, Why
    Can’t A Woman Be More Like A Man, take a listen I think you’d like it. I enjoyed your comments and agreed with alot of it, we forget to appreciate the balance of man and woman together, it’s hard and annoying to understand the other person’s personality and traits so let’s just change them…I am learning to forgive myself for not getting it til now at 53yrs old.Smile. Leanna

  19. Linda says:

    Mark, I totally agree with you on this.
    Love your show. Keep up the great work.
    Linda

  20. Diane says:

    WOW…my church does have this seminar. I did not attend it and I wish I had. My husband and I are currently separtated. I am having such growth through what is going on and I pray that when I suggest he watch this he will. Of course from your other TV sessions I now know I must ask more than once and don’t listen to the voice that says I’m nagging. Praise God for you and your ministry.

  21. jubilee says:

    Is that why most men are NOT GOING to higher learning? ive heard only 40 percent of men are going to COLLEGE to be engineers, etc.Whats really sad is in High School, boys arent asking girls out as much anymore the girls are asking boys! I hope, when my daughter graduates in 2013 there will be more christian boys in college

  22. jubilee says:

    Come to think of it, I think Christian schools should segregate the boys and girls as early as 4th grade because boys need to be around hopefully Godly men–the PC culture isnt going to do it for us..ASAP

  23. kzolady says:

    Does this mean that all of the men that have done stupid, violent, irrational things like forever, somehow got accidentally feminized?

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